Want a Positive Life? Hang with Positive People

Hey friends!

While I tend to keep it light with my Friday posts, I must be feeling philosophical, because today we’re going deep and talking about relationships, and how you have the power to create a happier life by choosing who you spend your time and energy with. Ready? Okay, let’s dive in!

One of my favorite quotes in the world is, “Respect yourself to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.”  I think of this quote partly in terms of the people that I surround myself with.

Awhile back, I made a conscious decision to let go of the people that weren’t bringing light and love into my life or in some way helping me to grow as a person. I think that people’s vibes have the power to rub off of you, whether you’re aware of it happening or not, and I just didn’t want negativity in my life. My dad always says, “You get like who you hang with,” and knowing the phrase to be truth, I just wanted to be a happy, positive person who spent her time with other happy people who were trying to do good things in the world.

I can honestly say that these days, the people that I spend a lot of my time and energy on are loving, kind, motivating, fun people – ones who also reciprocate the time and energy I put into the relationship. That last part was also important for me, because before this conscious shift, I felt as if I was constantly the one making all of the effort, which can definitely feel taxing.

So often, I talk to people who are in relationships that are causing them more heartache than happiness, whose friends are people that tend to bring them down more than lift them up. I’m sure that we’ve all experienced a friendship, romance, or family relationship like this at some point in our lives, and it takes up a lot of energy to carry on with those types of relationships. If you’re unhappy with some of the relationships in your life, it takes a toll on your well-being and can affect every aspect of your life. What I think that some people don’t realize is that they have the power to change it – to walk away from the relationship if there’s no room for change or growth to somehow improve the situation or the feelings of dissatisfaction.

While it may be hard, if the relationship no longer serves you, helps you grow, or makes you happy, it may be time to end that chapter of your life. After all, if you want a positive life, you have to surround yourself with positivity, and that includes not only an internal shift in attitude if necessary – which can include a variety of factors, like starting to meditate and practicing better self-care and love – but an external shift in who you spend your time with. While I’ve always been a pretty happy person, once I lost any of the relationship baggage that had been bogging me down, I felt more free to be me and to invest my energy in better places.

However, sometimes it’s not totally realistic to always be able to stay away from people that are constant emotional vampires, who can easily suck the light and positivity from you if you let them.

Maybe it’s a co-worker that you have to communicate with to do your job, or perhaps you have friends that aren’t really bringing anything good to your life, but you still feel a loyalty to them and aren’t sure how to cut ties. Chances are you may have a family member or two that falls in this category. When you’re around people you love and genuinely enjoy spending time with, you feel happy and relaxed, and you probably smile a lot. But how can you carry on that same energy when you’re around emotional vampires, catty gossipers and Negative Nellies?

I’ve come to the conclusion that although it’s nearly impossible to never allow the attitudes of those around you to affect you in the least bit, there are ways to minimize it. I believe that this comes from a peace within, in feeling confident in who you are as a human being and not allowing others to shake that. When you come from a place of being genuinely happy with your life and the direction you’re headed, you have the ability to let the negativity from others roll off of you more easily without it ruining your day or causing you to be in a bad mood. I’ve also found that making a conscious effort to regularly practice gratitude and put things in perspective really helps as well. I ask myself, “In a month, or 6 months, or a year, or hell even a week, will this person’s rude comments or negative attitude have any importance on my life? Will it have mattered?”

Chances are, the answer is no….and having that perspective makes it easy for me to take Negative Nellies with a grain of salt. Besides, sometimes being around people that you aren’t necessarily a fan of can be a lesson – teaching you patience and helping you to strengthen your ability to resist reactions that you might regret later. Perhaps people like this come into our lives to be an example of what we don’t want to be like, and that can be a gift in its own way.

Not only is the energy of the people I surround myself with something I often think about, I also think about the vibes that I’m giving off. Every day I strive to bring an energy of kindness, positivity, and a happy heart to the world around me, which I feel like I succeed in on most days….though you may catch me with occasional road rage, because hey, us human beings are all a work in progress, right? 🙂

Thoughts? Share em below! 

Describe the type of energy you strive to give off to the world in 3 words… go! 

PS – Did you know that I do 1-on-1 health coaching to help support people in living their healthiest, happiest lives? Check out my coaching page for more info, or shoot me an email at nicole[at]foodielovesfitness.com to chat about it further.