If You Can’t Change it, Change How you Think About It.

I’m a big believer in the power of attitude and positive thinking. While I’ve talked about how readjusting your outlook can make your life seem so much better when it comes to trivial things, I don’t think I’ve really discussed how I handle it when more important things in my life are bothering me.

I think that in being an optimist, sometimes I have a hard time admitting when something is really upsetting me. I always want to stay positive, but then I remember something I heard awhile back that has stuck with me: Positivity is NOT the denying or lack of negative thoughts. It’s the recognition of sometimes having them and being honest with yourself about it, but then being able to discard those thoughts before they fill up so much space in your life that you have no room left to see all of the good.

So when I find myself struggling to push away certain thoughts that are causing me stress, what do I do? In a nutshell, I first acknowledge it. I let myself feel it. I tell myself that it’s okay to have an ”off” day. Earlier in the week I had that kind of day. I gave myself a break, allowing myself to stew a bit in what was bothering me. I skipped the gym (I had worked out too many days in a row anyways!). I drank wine. My hubby and I spent awhile playing with Harley and laughing at her antics instead of doing something productive. I ate guacamole with chips & cheese and crackers for dinner, and I didn’t count the calories.  

I think that every once in awhile, giving yourself permission to be frustrated makes you feel better already. But I also put some work into being honest about just what was bothering me and how to change my outlook moving forward. I write down the things I’m upset about. Identifying what’s going on in my head and putting it down on paper helps me to process my thoughts.  

Next, I look at the worst case scenario. What is my worst fear pertaining to this? It sounds weird, but just recognizing what the worst outcome could be makes it seem not as scary.

Now comes the attitude adjustment.

I ask myself how I can prevent whatever is bothering me from doing so in the future. How can I look at this differently moving forward?

I jot down how I think it’s best to proceed. How can I prevent the worst case scenario from happening? What will I do if it happens anyways? Coming up with a sort of game plan in my head helps to further process the situation.

And then… I move on. I set myself up for a better tomorrow. That night I went to sleep repeating the mantra to myself, Tomorrow is a new day. It will be a great day. It may sound silly, but I think it really works for me.

I also make sure to do things that always bring positivity into my day. I fit a yoga session in first thing this morning, which left me feeling refreshed and ready to conquer my day. And you know what? It turned out to be a pretty good day.

So, the next time you are beating yourself up over being upset or having a bad day, decide if it’s worthy of being distressed about. If it isn’t, try following these steps to refocus your attitude, which work for me. If it is important enough to be down about, try doing the steps I’ve talked about. It just might make you feel a hell of a lot better!

Quote of the Day: “The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”